Beyond Sunday

Not Alone - Week 4

• King of Kings Church

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In this Beyond Sunday episode, Dina, Pastor Zach, and Tyler talk about how the right people make life’s burdens lighter. Through Scripture and real-life examples, they explore why wise counsel, embodied community, and Jesus’ promise of a lighter yoke are essential for finishing strong.

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Thanks for listening!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Beyond Sunday, the King of Kings podcast, where we dive a little bit deeper into our message series and see what we're taking Beyond Sunday. My name is Dina Newsom, and I have some wonderful guests today. Stellar, stellar guests. Which what what what adjective would you prefer?

SPEAKER_02:

No, it's great. Whatever you have, it fits the day.

SPEAKER_00:

Go ahead and say hi to you.

SPEAKER_02:

I get to sit with Tyler Rolfson today, who is the campus director in Fremont. That's right. Nebraska, not California.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you for clarifying. I believe there's also a Fremont, Indiana.

SPEAKER_00:

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03:

I need to double check that. Um and to my right is our teaching pastor and director of multi-site ministries, Zachary A.

SPEAKER_02:

Zender. But probably if they're listening them to their left.

SPEAKER_03:

Very good point. Very good point. What if they have what if they have their right airpod in and it's to their left?

SPEAKER_00:

That's it's a little deep. Okay, is it really Zachary A? I thought maybe he just guessed. Is that really no? It's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Zachary A. Zender. Zaz.

SPEAKER_00:

Zaz. Yep. Did you get teased about that when you were young?

SPEAKER_02:

No, but I definitely know what it's like to go last. Get the back of the line. Believe it or not, nobody goes, nobody lines up by middle name. By middle name, I would have crushed it, but no, it's not important.

SPEAKER_03:

If there happened to be a cousin in your kindergarten class who also went by Zender and they named him Zebediah, then you'd be then I would have second to last.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And we we do have uh, you know, let's shout out, let's shout out members' names here at King of Kings. We have the great Zega Zebediah Ziganbein at our church. So we connect a lot. His son's name is Zeke. And so all the Z Z united.

SPEAKER_00:

The only Z Z I know otherwise is ZZ Top. So that's all I can offer to that part of the conversation.

SPEAKER_02:

That's all most people can offer to this conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

All right. So I don't know if you guys know.

SPEAKER_02:

But today's how you like to start, but I know. I don't know if you know.

SPEAKER_00:

But today is National Tortilla Chip Day.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh man. Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

Now, tortilla chips were first just an afterthought because they were made from the leftover pieces of a tortilla when they would roll out the dough in a square, somewhat square shape, cut the round circle tortilla shape out of it, and the corners would be the triangle-shaped tortillas that started.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. Wow. It's like the anti-doughn hole. It's like the edge.

SPEAKER_00:

So my question for you is what is your favorite way to eat tortilla chips? Are you like a certain type of dip and dipper, or do you like nachos? Is there you're just you hate tortilla chips?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, I the opposite of hate tortilla chips. I think that's love. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Um, I think we all have our like weakness, like weaknesses when it comes to certain foods, whatever. And that salty chips is very much that for me, where I'm not joking, like seven-year-old Tyler get home from school, and if my parents didn't regulate, like I would, I would just eat a half bag of tortilla chips and just keep going. Um, because they're amazing. So to me, I'm like, I'm trying to think if there's a wrong way to eat a tortilla chip. So like I I'll eat them plain. I'll of course eat them with salsa somewhere kind of in the the medium to spicy, not super spicy range. Um uh any sort of queso, hummus. I I I I mean, I I guess I wouldn't try like peanut butter and jelly.

SPEAKER_00:

Guacamole?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yes. Yes and amen. I this is a day that I feel like was made for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow. Yeah. February 24th. February 24th. That's right. Wow.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I hate to infringe on your day because I think it's my day too. Because this is my thing as well. So maybe we could share a day. Maybe. Or you go first, I'll go last, obviously.

SPEAKER_03:

I'll eat the first half of the bag and you eat the second half.

SPEAKER_02:

I of all the foods, I can't I can't turn down a queso. And so I love tortilla chips in many variety, but that is my weakness. I I can be stuffed, and if I see chips and queso, I'm like, oh, I should have all of it. So I that's my weakness. I can't get over it. I don't feel bad about it. I you know, my wife sent me a text the other day that I'm not sure exactly how to take it, but it was it actually there's a lot of truth to it that it said it was from the Huberman Lab podcast, which I think we rank right underneath that one.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, definitely with our nine listeners.

SPEAKER_02:

But the scientist said that the happiest people in the world are 25-pound men overweight. So I I resonated with it.

SPEAKER_00:

So I have never met a nach.

SPEAKER_03:

Never met a say that.

SPEAKER_00:

I've never met a nachos that I didn't like. I am a fanatic for nachos. Yeah. Oh, love them. So good. All types, all forms. Ground beef, chicken, pork, whatever kind.

SPEAKER_03:

There's the classic like concession stand nachos with the cheese and them.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

So I in our dorm room.

SPEAKER_00:

Fancy hors d'oeuvre nachos. Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

I had a Sam's Club membership, and we went and bought the big old bag of chips, the massive queso, and we bought the containers that you would buy at the and we had them in our dorm room. And so anyway, I have a surprise for you guys on North National Tortilla Day.

SPEAKER_01:

You ready?

SPEAKER_02:

Enjoy chips and queso.

SPEAKER_00:

He is handing us imaginary chips and queso just so our listeners are up to date. It's gorgeous though. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02:

You're welcome. One of these, one of these, I don't know if you know. There will be some sort of surprise like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Or at least we know what our happy island plans are.

SPEAKER_00:

I'll have to incorporate, I'll I'll incorporate that sort of thing. Putting ideas in a dance. You plant like this in the future. They shall grow. If you build it, you will come. All right. So someday tortilla chip day will end. National tortilla chip day will end. And um, we will be not alone with our tortilla chips. Wow, what a stuff. Because we all love tortilla chips. Um, but this week we were in week four already of our not alone series. And we have been hearing from Pastor Seth Flick. And this week, Gigi Greg Griffith took over and took us through week four. What are you guys taking beyond Sunday from this week's message?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yeah. So this was the one where uh what for at least two-thirds of the message, he was wearing that weighted vest.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, very, very, very bougie. Uh and uh although my my my wife has one that doesn't have like the pocket, so it's just like the weight is set. So this was new to me to see one where you can kind of shift how much weight is in there. Um, but I I I just really appreciated the the simple but powerful illustration at the end where he invited those four people up and like you know, scripture says that we bear one another's burdens, it just kind of just kind of punctuated it for me of literally the the burden is off of Greg and it's shared by someone else. And then he even says, he's like, it doesn't mean that I now have no burdens, but I'm sharing them with others, uh, all under the banner of Christ.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think two things for me, one from a sermon and then one from a preacher content delivery side. Uh the one is all of us carry stuff. And that's just a really good reminder. None of us walk through life without carrying stuff. And so obviously, as he got into it, we we we need friends around us to help us in those moments. And then from the delivery side, I'm like, man, Seth and Greg are both like propping it up every week. There's so many props going on here, and I'm up in a few weeks. I'm like, it it am I like I'm pretty competitive. So do I outprop these guys? Or the treadmill set it up. I mean, we've got treadmills and rifles and shields and I'm gonna say you can't go wrong with queso. Yeah, I'm gonna bring queso. I'm gonna actually bring hey everybody, invite a few people on stage.

SPEAKER_00:

March 15th to eat some.

SPEAKER_02:

Just in queso sundae. And so I'm gonna bring a prop for everybody to enjoy. So have there you go.

SPEAKER_00:

I'll work on getting a cheese machine.

SPEAKER_02:

Amazing. Please. Um I wanted a queso fountain at our wedding. I didn't get it.

SPEAKER_03:

Dina, what were you taking on Sunday?

SPEAKER_00:

Two of my daughters had we had the cheese machines at their graduation. A friend of mine, a friend of mine had one. Only what you didn't know about the cheese machine is there was a button you would push and you didn't, you would think you'd push and hold it for the cheese to disperse. Oh no, it was like a regulated amount of cheese. So you just had to push it once and much cheese would come out. There was much cheese, much queso spillage that day of people holding the button. Okay, I I wrote down a quote that um Gigi had put on the screen that was my takeaway this week. And it said, Today we discover that we are not alone. Our companions shape our character. Your community will either give you life or add weight you were never meant to carry. So again, it kind of goes back to the weighted vest. I like that the weight that you were never meant to carry. I like that piece of it. Um, that's what grabbed me. Okay, so Greg began with some statistics about how many young people may rely on AI in place of a real friendship. What do you think are some potential dangers of relying on AI or technology as a substitute for genuine human companionship?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I I find it super sad. And I think it's it's super easy to jump to because AI will tell you what you want, what what you want to hear. And uh, like, you know, I'll go back and forth with AI, specifically in my writing or my preaching. I I like to use it as a tool primarily after I've done what I feel like is the hard work and have it rate and review, and it's just so kind to me at the end. It's like, wow, it it makes me feel like a like an Oscar-winning, like Golden Globe-winning, Grammy winning, like incredible preacher, you know, because it rates me so it says really nice things, which is is fine. But probably along those same lines, but in a really like serious way, it's super dangerous because real life has ups and downs, and I think it teaches people that when there's ever a problem with a relationship, a real human relationship, that they're not built for how to engage in conflict. And it's easier for them to just move on. And life isn't like that. Every relationship you get in, even the ones, the good ones, the friends that take weight off of you, at some point they're gonna put weight on you because we make mistakes and we're sinful. And I think it just sets people up for this uh for they don't know how to deal with conflict because AI won't give you conflict, it'll give you what you want. And so it's really hard in a world where if you can get what you want to actually get what you need, which comes with a lot of difficulty and a lot of hard conversations and a ton of challenges. So I I think it's very, very dangerous to use AI as a companion.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that was so serious, sorry.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Uh yeah, the so there's a social scientist, I don't remember who said it, uh, but you know, they wrote this big thesis on um that the medium is the message. Now we as Christian, basically meaning that like the the way that something is communicated is actually the overall message. We as Christians can't subscribe fully to that because we believe that there's a message that's communicated regardless of the methodology. But there is something to be said that if we condition ourselves, how many different like messaging apps do you have on your phone? Right, you can text, we have Microsoft Teams, uh, even for work, we have like the planning center like chat between campuses, right? And so it it literally is me typing on a phone and then getting response, and it's just text back and forth. And it's like that's a method of uh of communication. And then AI is literally it's it's chatbot, right? And and so you can kind of see where it's like if we condition ourselves so much, like that's what real relationship is. And of course, the the biggest problem with AI is the fact that it's artificial, it's artificial intelligence and it's not real. Um, and I think one of the most distinguishing parts of being a Christian in this age is going to be re rediscovering um that we're we're real people, that God created us with bodies, and the fact that we're actually here together recording us three, and there's a reason why you guys have me drive in on Tuesdays from Fremont and occasionally on random Mondays, just like yesterday. Um I had so many people like, you're not supposed to be here right now. Um, is that like actually being together matters and God does something with that, and we can't the the whatever temptation we have to substitute through the thing that Zach, I think you laid out really nicely, does make us feel good because it says things that that just like oh good, affirmation, affirmation. Like, no in-person, face-to-face relationships where you're talking and hearing and seeing and hugging and high-fiving really does make a difference. And it's how God made us. And it's like, man, part of it is just like trusting the Lord with all your heart, not leaning on your own understanding. Our own understanding might be like, well, no, maybe this is fine. And I don't know, it's trust God and how He made us and lean into that.

SPEAKER_00:

I just think the fact that it's lacking an emotional connection is a problem. I mean, I think I I'm a fix-it friend. That's what I call myself. I'm a really great friend in a crisis. I'm a really great friend if you need advice. I I am all about, I'm all in, let's fix it, fix it. You know, I am not a great sit in the mud friend. I am working on that as I get older because I understand how necessary that is in friendships. That is not my go-to. And I think there's AI cannot be a sit-in-the-mud friend when you are really stuck that can just be there with you because there's not a fix for whatever you're going through. Or an there's just a time-related fix for it. And I just that's especially as I'm discovering that about myself, I just think, okay, well, how is that possible for AI to do that for anybody? And those I think are some of the more important times when you need somebody to just be there with you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So on our way over here from the Millard offices to the studio, we passed the core gathering room. And on Tuesdays is the grief shared group that meets.

SPEAKER_00:

Just started today. Their new session just started today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Did they meet like all day?

SPEAKER_00:

No.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, because I'm like, was it like a anyway? I was there have been times where I'm like, I passed them in the morning, they come back like, oh, they're still together.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, but I know Zach. I mean, they I mean they have their normal time, but they oftentimes will hang out together for a lot longer.

SPEAKER_03:

And Zach, I know your mom Sharon is heavily involved as a leader there. But like when you talk about like sticking and staying in the mud, like grieving alone, grieving loss is hard, but then it's really, really hard if you're doing it by yourself. And like, what an essential opportunity to get people together so that they can lean on one another and share one another's burdens. I just happened to look up from my table in the corridor and kind of knew that this conversation was coming. Like, this is a perfect picture of what Greg was talking about. Yeah. And like, no, no art, no AI bot is gonna come close to the the hugs and the tears that can be shared as someone's talking about their late husband's birthday that just passed and it just hit them like they didn't expect.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know a single person that has gone through Grief Share and went, uh, that is a waste of my time. I didn't get anything out of that. It's an amazing program. And if that's something you might be interested in, I'm gonna do a plug. It's not too late to join this group that just started today. It was their first session. Um, you can check it out on the website or call the church office if you want to find out more. The other thing that happens right near where Grief Share is is our core counseling center. And Greg mentioned on Sunday, he put a plug in that if you are somebody that is struggling with this loneliness or you know feels like AI may be your only outlet right now, we have had someone donate to cover some sessions with core counseling. So just reach out to the church office to find out more about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so let's get a little vulnerable. What are some personal experiences where having a supportive community made a difference in your life?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think so. Me and my accountability partner, Tim Allman, we we host an annual golf trip called Oasis for 20 pastors, 16 to 20 pastors. And uh it's you know, we have a ton of fun. We play golf every day. Um, and I we don't apologize for that. But the mornings are amazing because we do our check-ins, we do devotions, and it's all 20 pastors, all Lutheran, and there's a camaraderie you have right when you get there that you you you you know, take your mask and take your cape off. Like there's no superheroes and there's nobody hiding. We all know what it's like to do ministry, and so let's go. And I I'll tell you, it's almost like clockwork every year that a third of the guys that go there every year are in great, they're doing great. Life is good, church is good, family's good. Third of the guys are usually somewhere middle, and a third of the guys are just a wreck and they need each other. And I can't tell you how many uh how helpful that's been in a season where I've needed that, and then I'm sure my words have been helpful to someone else in a season where they needed it, and it's saved marriages, it's kept guys in ministry, and it's a really beautiful example um for what that's like in my life.

SPEAKER_00:

That's great.

SPEAKER_03:

Very touching. Um, I did notice, Zach, when you mentioned the golf trip, that the number was to a multiple of four. Yeah. So 16, 20. Forsoms. You got it. If you want to add, you need to bring three friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Otherwise, it just gets really hard to plan.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not gonna lie. Um yeah, I I you know, I think back to um I graduated from Baylor in 2015, and those couple early years um was where I kind of where I really kind of discovered I didn't really know what friendships could be, especially Christian friendships, until that point. And so um like true accountability and true like doing the college, college in some way has its own artificiality to it, right? But it's also real life. And um yeah, and so you know, everything from uh talking theology versus and then working through like real conflict, like Zach you talked about. And I I'm just forever grateful for those years um to like give me a like to so that I don't lower my standard, you know, and saying, well no, this is okay. Like um every season of life's a little different. But I'm like, man, what what what what we had back there in Waco, Texas in 2012 was beautiful. Um and it um and even Zach, as you're you're sharing, you know, I'm in this seminary program. I was down in St. Louis last month, and we did a I was with six of the guys, they're kind of around my same life stage. So our our wives and young kids were you know, we're at home, and then we're all in St. Louis, and by like the night two, we are all kind of like checking in, like, okay, how's how's uh wife kids doing back home? And you know, kind of everyone's like, uh it's uh you know, and but it what was sweet is then we were able to you know get home from dinner, like let's let's have some let's have some prayer time, let's pray for our our wives and our kids and um and support each other. There was one guy um who he he and his wife had just adopted a baby like three weeks prior, and it was kind of the surprise thing. And then so his his wife like wasn't planning to take a maternity leave, but now is and then he jets off for a week and and and so you can just imagine how difficult it is for her, and then he's just crushed on the inside because he wants to be back with her, but he also is feeling called to this ministry program, that sort of thing, and um for and then like you said, Zach can't Of like every scale from there for each of us. Um, but to be a supportive community and kind of experience kind of instant vulnerability for people that I'd only really known for about six months, but like, wow, I feel like I've known you for a lot longer. I think that's one of the things that the Holy Spirit does when we're doing Christian community, Christian community right.

SPEAKER_00:

When I was 20 years old, I met a boy in an internet chat room. I was in college at Kearney at that time, and he lived in San Antonio, Texas. And we fell in love. It was not who I married. So that this particular part of the story does not have a happy ending, happily ever after ending. It's a happy ending because, you know, God had a different plan for my life. But um, I decided to move to Texas. 20 years old, had lived in Nebraska my entire life, had gone an hour away to college, you know, from where I had grown up in Grand Island, um, moved to Texas, and my only friends were this boy's friends. And after about two months, I felt very isolated, thinking, okay, this is, I was sure it was the love of my life, but what did I do? Because I had no community. Um, I had a job, but it was working where the same place where he and a lot of his friends worked. So it was still that same. And a couple of these young men's moms kind of took me under their wing and invited me to go to a concert with them, would invite me to go out to lunch with them. Huge age difference, 20-year age difference. But that community at that point was life-saving to me. Um, just because it was something outside of my relationship, the romantic relationship at that time. And I don't know that I would say we were so close friends, but it was just that community with each other, where they would just ask what I was going through. And they had all been there, you know, at different times. And that I just remember thinking what a difference that had made in my life at the time. And okay, how can I sometime do this for someone else in my life? You know, it just was huge to me. All right. How do you try to discern between good and bad influences among your friends and you're both dads among your kids' friends?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's it's tricky. Um and like my I I don't I'm not super strong in like and I want to take a spiritual gifts test. I'm not super strong in discernment. Um, my wife is ridiculously better at these sorts of things. Um but I I I I I I I'm not I'm not even gonna answer the question well. I'm just gonna talk about how difficult it is because like things that we know, like well, you you you never want to like just permanently judge someone to be just awful. Um, but you also, especially with the kids, like you like their formation really matters as people. And Greg talked about this. You mentioned the quote earlier. It's like they their friend the friends that they choose are going to shape them. If anything, I probably think more about that for my kids than I do for myself. Although it's very true for myself too. The people I surround myself with are going to shape me. Greg referenced that Andy Stanley quote, which feels a little provocative at first, but I think it's true that your friends that will uh will determine your direction, your quality of life, or direction and quality of your life. Um the I think the this is probably the one thing that I I really sorry, that sounds bad. I was about to say the one thing I appreciated of the message, one of the many things. But in the opening story that Greg said with his childhood friend Todd, his you could tell his parents gave Todd a number of opportunities. And so they they they noticed when something went bad, but they didn't say, Greg, you're never seeing him again. But then after instance two, three, four, five, it's like, okay, we're sensing a pattern here. And eventually there was a cutoff because they said you're our our desire to be kind to Todd is actually not as important as our desire to protect you and to make sure that your your relationships are good. So I think that would probably be one thing as I'm talking myself into this, is like, what are the patterns that you can discern? So it's not just one strike and you're out. Um, but there are there are unhealthy and toxic influences. Um and and we we gotta take it seriously. And the last thing we'd want for this message series to be is hey, don't be isolated, don't be alone. But then you start surrounding yourself with the bad, with the wrong people.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

You gotta surround yourself with the right people.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I I I don't think I'm the the normal test case, so I don't know how much this will relate to folks, but I don't really put much energy and effort into discerning like good or bad. I I think that naturally my life will be filled with a Christian bubble of people that are really good and joyful and happy people. And if someone is not Christian, that that data that doesn't intimidate me. I'm happy to walk that journey. I enjoy getting to know people of all different types. And I just know that I have enough strong people in my own life that like my my balance is never off scale, if that makes sense. But that's that's me. Um, and that's part of like being a church worker, is is our my fight actually is how do I get out of the Christian bubble and get to know more people that aren't like me. And so that that's a a bigger struggle for me. Um and then for the kids, prayer for sure, but I don't want to rose-colored glasses and let like people think that all I do is pray for my kids' friends. Like it hasn't been perfect, but I certainly prayed for our kids and prayed that they would have friends. And then as much as minor teenagers now, so as much as possible without being annoying to your kids, being a part of their life and even their friends. And so little things, just getting to know a little bit of who they are here and there. Again, in a way that's not annoying to your kids. It's a game, you know. How do you but that's that's the best I got for that?

SPEAKER_00:

I did it in a way that was totally annoying to my kids. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

What I that's it, that's an option too. Yeah. One of the things that I did with all of my kids is I like to be the house where people would come and hang out. You see a different side then of their friends. And I think just having a good relationship with your children where they can come and talk to you when they're having struggles. I think I learn a lot more through my son coming and sitting down and telling me a story of him hanging out with it with his friends. I can pick up on, oh, that friend did this. And that made me stop and pause. But this friend seemed to make good choices. And okay, just taking note. And then the next conversation, little tidbits and taking note and remembering that. Um, but yeah, being present, I think was a big part of it. Um, not necessarily right in their faces. That would be the annoying part.

SPEAKER_02:

Um just because you only get little morsels.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

You parents who are coming up on teenage years, just morsels. And enjoy it if you get one.

SPEAKER_00:

Savor them.

SPEAKER_03:

I'd be curious if you guys have um tried this. I heard this on a podcast like two months ago. I was like, oh, that's so simple but brilliant. And they're on I think our kids are young enough, they're 10, 8, and 4. And so they're they haven't crossed that threshold of like, I'm not gonna talk to mom and dad anymore. But this kind of parenting person that was on a podcast was saying, rather than asking my kid, hey, what's going on with you? They go through the angle of like, hey, what are you what are your friends dealing with? That sort of thing. I'm like, brilliant. That is a that's a very interesting way to Yeah, because then of it's like, oh yeah, well, so and so, you know, anxiety or someone's, you know, this person's really struggling in math class. This person just went through a breakup, that sort of thing. And kind of the theory behind it would be that you're actually probably gonna get at what your kid is going through, but they're much more willing to talk about someone else. So yeah, someone else rather than I don't is that is is that news to you guys too?

SPEAKER_00:

I have never heard it expressed directly that way, but it's genius.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, I wish I'd have known. I suppose I got a couple of years left to make.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you have you still have a small chance.

unknown:

I don't know. We'll see.

SPEAKER_00:

I really liked I wrote down something that Greg said where he said, don't choose your friends based on proximity or popularity, but choose them on character. And I think questions like that is where you see some of your child's friends' character and how they react to certain things or what they're going through at the time. Yeah. Absolutely. That that's a very interesting point.

SPEAKER_03:

That's that's why you listen to the Beyond Sunday podcast, guys. You just never know what you're gonna get. Queso and then more particular morsels.

SPEAKER_00:

And parenting tips. Yep. Morsels of queso.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the podcast title for this episode.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh okay. So the biblical focus for this week's message was walking through um the story of Ray Haboam. Um and Rahboam is one of many, we assume, right? Sons of Solomon, like from Solomon's history. Does one of you want to kind of summarize a little bit about Ray and Boam's Rahaboam story? That's a hard name to say, Rahaboam.

SPEAKER_03:

You did a great job. Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_02:

Great.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So um, yeah, Raya Boam and his brother Jaroboam. Um, so he has yeah, Solomon had at least two. Um, but yeah, Raya Bohem had grown up with these buddies of his, and uh this was kind of the uh the foil, as it were, like the the bad crowd. And so the the story is a relatively simple one, but that um the the Zach, who comes who comes to them?

SPEAKER_02:

Is it uh first he has some elders, right? And then so Raya Ray Bohem's the new king, and he's getting advice first from elders, which is actually really good advice, specifically about like a taxing issue or something like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, right. And so this problem, this problem is presented to Raya Bohem. And so he has these two groups of advisors, like you said, the the elder group that had been with his dad, and they advise him to take kind of the servant route, right? Like listen to them. And he's like, if you and they they say this, and I think it's beautiful to like if you do this once, like they're gonna be your fans forever. Like and so Ray Boam's like, oh, okay. And then he goes to his buddies and they basically encourage him to come down with the hammer with kind of heavy authoritarian, you thought my dad was tacting you heavily, you haven't seen anything yet. And uh Rayoboam chooses the advice of his buddies over the elders to disastrous consequences, yeah. Because then his brother Jeroboam takes the the northern twelve tribes, Rayoboam takes the southern two, and uh the entire kingdom of God's chosen people um breaks. And it I was about to say it never comes back, but like the the only it's only destruction from there, right? Because then it's uh then it's evil kings after evil kings, and then uh Assyria comes and absorbs the northern kingdom, and then eventually um Babylon comes and absorbs the southern kingdom. So it's like this one thing that really leads to some terrible, terrible things.

SPEAKER_00:

Bad advice. Bad advice leads to terrible things. Okay, so what is the significance of Rehoboam's decision in First King 12? And what lesson can we learn about leadership and seeking advice from this? Don't listen to your friends. No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_02:

That's not the Yeah, and I would I Greg touched on it a little bit, but like I I'm frustrated with his dad too, Solomon. Like for as wise as Solomon was, and for as good of a start as he might have had, his dad, David, finished really well. David had some faults, but he finished really well and he set his son Solomon up super well. Solomon did not do that.

SPEAKER_00:

He started out strong, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But he and then did not yeah, it's a bad, it's a sad ending. And so um, I I think to any parent out there, right, finish strong and you know, um, legacy. Uh how are you passing the torch, the baton to the next generation? And and what does that look like to set them up well? And when you see, if you see, you know, your kid or um some someone you love that is walking down the wrong path or walking down with a uh group of people that they shouldn't be walking, do do as much as you can in your power to you know stop that would be the first thing. And then if if you are, you know, if you are the Rehaboam and you've got people around, you've you've got to ask the question, like, is my community pushing me more towards Jesus or further away? And right, the the quote, show me your five friends today and I'll show you where you you'll be in five years, yeah, is a very real quote. And you know, I I looked at when I look at the life of Jesus, like he surrounded himself with community. He's probably the only one that could have like done better without it feels like you know, um they were the weight.

SPEAKER_01:

They were the weight, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But even he chose community and they weren't perfect. But I will say, like, you know, he's got his 12, he's got his three. Of course, God was the center at uh, but like that they're passionate for him. They don't get it right, but they're passionate for him, and they want, they want, they want to see him thrive and they want to support him. And and like there was a clear, yes, we're we're we are in this together. And so I think even Jesus had community around him, and so you need community around you, but is your community, is your I I like to look at the numbers of Jesus, is your three and is your 12, especially? He had he had bigger groups, right? 72, 500, 1000s, but but look at your three and your twelve, and and are those collectively pointing you more towards Jesus or not? And make hard choices if they're if it's if that collectively is a no, like you've got to do something about that. Because it's imp I shouldn't say impossible, it's really challenging to try to be the greatest disciple you can be if your community around you doesn't support it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Well, and there's also a paradox here because we we are ones who are in the world but not of it. We're called to be on mission, we know that God has sent Jesus for everyone, and we have a message to bring hope to everyone. And Zach even mentioned earlier, it's like I actually probably need some more people in my life who aren't Christian because of how Christian people like I'm I'm surrounded by Christians. But then if you take that point way too far, I've I've heard Christians before justify really unhealthy relationships that are influencing them in the wrong direction, but they're saying, but I'm I'm influencing them, they're not influencing me. It's like actually it's it's both. And and so it's it's a really fine line, um, and it really requires kind of Holy Spirit-led discernment to for, you know, if we're in the posture of um you're in the position of someone like Raya Bohem to say who are the voices that are in my life and which ones reflect uh the the voice of God. And I think one principle that we can use to determine which one is is like humility is the way of Jesus. And so like that's the big difference between these is like the the elders say choose the humble route. The the the younger ones say, no, no, no, choose the arrogant route. Um and it's like there's a reason that's repeated multiple in scripture multiple times in scripture. God gives or God opposes the proud, meaning like God is actually opposed to that arrogance, but he gives grace to the humble. And so if there are people in your life that are pointing you to the humble way of Jesus, then you can have confidence. Yeah, that's who I need to be listening to. But those that are encouraging me to be more proud or more divisive or more arrogant, they're pulling me away.

SPEAKER_00:

I really like Greg said, uh, inherited dysfunction is still dysfunction when he was talking about great line that, you know, he may not have been rabbo and may not have been have been set up well by Solomon, but it's still dysfunction and he still had an opportunity to make better choices. And so how can we look at that of where we may be in situations that are not of our own doing or not of our own choosing, but how can we make good choices out of those or listen to the right people out of those? Yeah. Okay. So how does the phrase, my yoke is easy and my burden is light hit you? And how does this apply to your spiritual life? I gotta say, when I hear this, so I love the image of being like there, I don't know what verse it is that, you know, we talk about being yoked to Christ, Christ is yoked to us, you know, or or a husband and wife are yoked together. I love the idea of the like physical yoke that, you know, cows would wear when they're plowing or bulls or whatever, where they're connected by this big piece of wood. And in my head, anytime I think of that being yoked to Christ, I think of Christ being this big, massive, strong person. And here's little tiny, helpless me yoked with Christ, where my feet don't even touch the ground and he's just literally doing all the work. And that's the image that I get in my head. I'm along for the ride.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I'm I'm I'm smiling as the podcast listener can tell on the side of this non-video podcast. Um on your right side, maybe. But um, there was a a pastor at a church I was a part of where he was he was being a little playful, um, going into kind of a kind of a deep ministry moment, and he was he was reading these words from Matthew 11. He's like, Tips for any of you preachers out there, there are times where your sermon's just gonna bomb and it's just not landing. He's like, if that happens, just go to Matthew 11 and just say, just like Jesus says, Come all you weary, heavy laden, take my yoke upon you, and I will give you rest. He's like, then everyone will be at that posture of amening with you.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it's part of it that's really neat is like when the yoke is a work instrument. Yeah, and so if you really like contextualize that out, uh doesn't mean that we're just sitting or laying around, you know, doing nothing. It means we're actually working with Christ, and yet it's still it feels light and easy. And I think sometimes in life, I know I feel this in ministry, but I know others do in their professions too. It feels like this tension of I am important, but I'm not that important. And when I start feeling like every decision I make is like so important, it's so heavy, and so I gotta make the right decision. If I make make the wrong decision, I just go back to like, no, when I am walking with God, there's a levity to it, and I I ought not take myself more serious than I am. And so to me, it it's a beautiful verse. I I need that verse so much. I it's one that I love, it's one that I have memorized, but it's not one that I that comes easy to me. It's not one that I practice a lot, and I need to I need to do that more.

SPEAKER_03:

Um I think it's helpful. So like when Jesus says, My my yoke is easy, my burden is light, sometimes we can interpret that to mean that there is no burden or there is no yoke. Right. Like those are those are that's not what Jesus is saying. And I'm quite really glad you pointed that out. It's just that the the the burden that the burden of that yoke, right? With big Jesus and little Dina. Um, it's just the best kind of burden that we can have. And so it's like, look at everything that you're trying to carry on your own with all those weights and the weighted vest, and you're just adding to it and adding to it. Man, what if you set that aside and come and take the the the not no yoke, but the easy yoke of Jesus? And he's the one who promises to give your soul and your body rest.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen.

SPEAKER_03:

Amen.

SPEAKER_00:

All right. Final takeaways as we wrap up today from this message.

SPEAKER_02:

I need better friends.

unknown:

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02:

I was about to I mean, I'm I can always go for that.

SPEAKER_00:

Are any of your friends among our nine listeners? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02:

So that's what I'm saying. If I had real friends, they'd listen.

SPEAKER_03:

I was about to say my takeaway was that Zach needs better friends. So I'm glad you said that. I was gonna say the same thing, but no, I just I I feel like I say this at the end of every podcast, but like I'm just really grateful for this series. Um, Zach, I think you were the one to kind of first pitch it to the team all the way back in August. And God's word is always timely. I just think this is an incredibly timely word for our church. I've heard from our people out in Fremont just how grateful they are. Um, and so I'm I'm thankful for the Lord for leading us in this direction. And uh Seth's three weeks were tremendous. Craig took the baton and kept the momentum going. Um, so I'm just I'm I'm praying that as the word has gone forth, that it's gonna bear a lot of good fruit in all of our campuses.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks so much for being here with me today, guys. It'd be kind of boring if I was just here alone. But I'm not alone. We are continuing our message this week with week five of Not Alone. So I hope that you get to hear that. And until then, let's keep living our faith beyond Sunday.

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